jokes

Raat ko kitab meri mujhe dekhty rhee…
neend mujhe apni orr khenchti rhee…
Neend ka jhonka mera mann moh gayaa…
Aur aik raat phir yeh genious bina parhe so gaya …..

Sunlo jaana tum hi ho ab meri life
Tujh ko chhod k naa koi banagi meri wife
Tu agar kabhi de dhokha
Jaan main apni doonga with a knife..!

If boys vomit then parents says kaminey kaha kha kar aaya tha,
If girls vomit then parents says kaun tha woh kamina,
Moral of the story: Whoever vomits boys are always kaminey…

Sardar ke bagiche me bahut sare ped the,
Sardar naukar ko bola ped ko pani dal.
Naukar bola saab barish aah raha hai,
Sardar: abe budhu chhatri pakadke dal na!

Judge – You are crossing the limits.
Lawyer – Kaun Saala aisa kehta hai?
Judge – How dare you call me saala?
Lawyer – My Lord, I said kaun ‘Sa Law’ kehta hai?

Sardar ko sapne me ek ladki ne chappal mari,
2 din tak sardar apne bank nahi gaya,
Qnki bank me likha tha..

“Hum aapke sapne ko hakikat me badalte hain”

Gadha jo khaaye wo Ghaas ho tum,
Buddhe ka Chyawanpraash ho tum,
Idiot, stupid, bakwaas ho tum,

Shair Arz Kiya Hai…
Zara Tawajo Chahiye…
Khushiyan Milain Tumhain Har Qadam Ba Qadam…
Khuda Ki Qasam Shair Khatam
Plz Naraz Mat Ho Acha Chalo Dosra Shair Hai…
Chahe Ge Tm Ko Dilo Jan Se Hum
Khuda Ki Qasam Ye Shair Bhe Khatam
Thora Aur Bura Maan Lo…
`
Best Sms Of 1947
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Tab Mobile Tha Kya?
Kabhi Tu Thora Dimagh Ka Istamaal Kar Liya Karo!
Bas Sms Parhne Ki Jaldi Lagi Hoti Hai…
`
Why Has The Govt Fixed Voting Age Of 18 Yr
& Marriage In Age Of 21yr?
Govt Ko Ye Pata Hai K
Desh Sumbhalna Aasan Hai
Lekin Biwi Nahi…
`
Palko Pe Apni Baithaya Hai Tumhe
Badi Dino Ke Baad Paya Hai Tumhe
Aasani Se Nahi Mile Tum
National Zoological Park Se Churaya Hai Tumhe…
`
Mere Hath Me Tera Hath Ho
Tere Hath Me Bajuwale Ka Hath Ho
Aur Uske Hath Me Mera Hath Ho Fir?
Fir Kya Teeno Milake Khelege GHOOM-GHOOM …

Train mai aik husband apni wife say:
tujh say shadi ker k pachta raha hun
dil kerta hai tujhey kuttay k agay dal dun
samnay wala passenger:wao wao wao wao!!!…
`
Khush rahe tu sada yeh dua hai meri
Teri premika hi ban jaaye bhabhi teri…..
`
Ek ladki thi diwani si, sunder si lambi si,
Nazrein jhukake sharmake galion se guzra karti thi
latak matak chalti thi, aur kaha karti thi,
Bartan Lelo Bartan……
`
Bolaa dukaan-daar, ke kyaa chahiye tumhain
Jo bhii kaho ge merii dukaan per wo paoge
maine kahaa ke kutte ke khaane kaa cake hai
bolaa yahiin pe khaaoge yaa leke jaaoge…
`
Suna hai wo keh kar gaye hai ke ab to hum,
Sirf tumhare khawboo main hi aayenge,
Koi keh de unse ki wo vada kar le hum,
Jindgi bher ke liye so jayenge…
`
Woh zindagi hi kya jisme mohabbat nahi,
Woh mohabat hi kya jisme yaadein nahi,
Woh yaadein hi kya jisme tum nahi,
Aur woh tum hi kya jiske saath hum nahi…….

Excellent Mind
Masoom Chehra
Mithi Aawaz
Khubsurat Aankhe
Perfect Personality
Khushmizaj Andaz
Ye To Hui Meri Baat
Or Batao Aap Kaisy Ho ?…
`
Ek ‘Aap’ Ho Kitne Achhe Ho
Kitne Bhole Ho
Kitne Pyare Ho
Kitne Smart Ho
Kitne Sweet Ho
Aur Ek ‘Hum’ Hain Ke
Jhooth Pe Jooth Bole Ja Rahe Hain…
`
Hum Pagal Apke Picche
Aap Pagal Kisi Or K Picche
Koi Or Pagal Hamare Picche
Wo B Pagal Kisi Or K Picche
Hahaha
Saare Pagal Aage Picche… 

Respected,
International Kanjus,
Thanks for not sending any Sms,
You will win “Pappu Kanjus Rahna Award”

Na na sms mt karna,
Kahin ye! Award hath se na nikal jaye.. 

What’s True Bravery?

.
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To arrive home..
Fully Drunk..
Late night out.

N
Mom waiting with a Jhadu
N
You ask: Hey Mom, abhi tak Safai kar rahi ho..!!

Sardar got a job in AIRTel
custmr: Hello my AIRTEL sim loked what 2Do?
Srd: y don take tention remove airtel sim put BSNL,thank u 4caling
`
Sardar Roz Subha 50 ladkiya mera intezar karti hain
man- are waha Vo kaise?
sardar- Maine Girls collage Bus ka Drive Hu na.
`
2 sardar sending sms their GF
1st sardar:Mai tere mobile se teri G.F ko sms bheju?
2nd:no
1st:Why?
2nd:usne handwriting pehchan li to……?
`
Ek sardar jo bhi kam karata tha usme puri tarah doob jata tha……
Aurr… ak din… usne ak gadda khod liya…..
`
Sardars Friend: Yar Kal Meine Kitni Baar Call Kiya, Uthaya Q Nahi?
Sardar: Q Uthau, 30 Rs.De K Jo Gana Lagwaya Hai Woh Kya Tera Bap Sune..
`
Sardar saying to his friend- yaar meina compeny ke computer ko jor jor se chalaya button dabaya to computer bolta he “what r u doing”. Meine computer ko na main switch se band ker diya or bhag gaya.
Dusra Dost- kyon?
Sardar yaar computer has a good mind wo Malik ko bata dega to…

Tinka-2 tufan mein bikharte chale gaye
tanhai ki gehraion mein utarte chale gaye.
Udte thay jinke sahare aasmano mein hum
ek-ek karke sab bichadte chale gaye.
`
Fresh flowers are waiting to disturb u
Hot coffe waiting to taste ur lips
Sun, birds, cool air – all r looking
at ur window to say u Good morning
Have nice day.
`
Girl’s father- Main nahi chahta ki meri beti
apni puri zindgi 1 gadhe k sath guzare.
Boyfriend- Bus, isiliye main use
yaha se le jane aya hun
`
Unki ek yaad bechan kar jati hai
har cheez me unki surat nazar aati hai.
aisa hal kiya unhone pyar me hamara
ke nind aati hai to ankhen bura maan jati hain.
`
Is dil ka ik arman hai
ik chand me hmari jaan hai.
Jise dur se dekhna to mumkin hai
Par milna kahan aasan hai.
Kyon ki hum to ik zameen hain
arr Vo ik aasman hai
`
Behte aashkon ki zubaan nahi hoti
lafzon mein mohabat bayaan nahi hoti.
Mile jo pyar to kadar karna
kismat har kisi par maherban nahi hoti.
`
Ishq aisa karo ki dharkn mein bs jaye
saans bi lo to khushboo usi ki aye.
pyar ka nasha aankhon pe cha jaye
baat kuch bi na ho pr nam usi ka aye.
`
Ek lamha jo baar baar satata hai
na jaane yeh dil kya chahta hai.
Kaash aap hote hamari nazron k saamne
par yeh kaash
kaash hi reh jata hai.
`
Sache dil se karo fariyaad to
Duniya ki har ek cheez milti hai.
Jis par khuda ki rehmat ho jaye
Use kaanto me bhi khushbu milti hai.

`

WIFE: Tum Ne Kabhi Socha Hai K Meri Shaadi Kisi Aur Se Ho Jaati To Kya Hota?”
HUSBAND: Nahi, Main ne kabhi Kisi Ka Bura Nahi Socha…!

Kitna Baybus Hai Insaan Qismat K Aagay
Her Sapna Toot Jata Hai Haqeqat K Aagay
Jis Ne Kabhi Jhukna Nahi Sekha Duniya Main
Wo Bhi Jhuk Jata Hai BEGUM K Aagay…

Wife ko begum kyon kehte hai?
Ans: Kyonki shadi ke baad sare gum to husband
se hisse mein aate hai,
aur biwi Be-Gum ho jai Hai!!!

Wife: Shadi ke pehle to tum mujhe rof gift diya karte they,
ab kyun nahi dete?
Husband: Machhali pakdne ke baad bhi kya koi chara dalta hai!

Patni: Kaash tum aise SMS hote jise
Main Zindagi bhar save karke rakhti!
Pati: Air kaash tum
aisi ringtone hoti jise
main har hafte badal sakta….

Wife: Agar main mar jaun to tum kya karoge?
Husband: Shayad main mar jaunga.
Wife: Kyon?
Husband: Kabhi kabhi zyada kushi janleva hoti hai….

A beggar- ‘Oh sundari ! Andha hoon.
Sawa paanch rupya de de..
“Husband said 2 his wife- De de, tujhe
sundari bola hai to har haal mein andha hai…”

DEVDAS Of 2010..
Maa Ne Kaha Face Book Chor Do!
Abba Ne Kaha Night Package Chor Do!
Doston Ne Kaha Mobile Se Balance Churana Chor Do!
Paaro Ne Kaha Dew Peena Chor Do!
Aur
Aik Din Aayega Jab Girlfrnd K Bachey Bolengey..
Maamu Ab To Hamari Ammi Ka Peecha Chor Do!
`
Khusbu Ne Phool Ko Khas Banaya,
Phool Ne Matti Ko Khas Banaya,
Chahat Ne Mohabat Ko Khas Banaya,
Kambakhat Mohabat Ne Kitno Ko
“DEVDAS” Banaya…
`
Jeet K B Haar Gya Me Pyar Ki Bazi Yaro
Me Uska DEVDAS Tha Wo Thi Meri PARO
Wo Guzar Gai Paas Se Nazar Tk Na Milai
Bcz I Was On Bicycle She Was In Pjaro…
`
Pyar Karnewale Pareshan Ho Jate Hai
Shadi Karnewale Sharabi Ban Jate Hai
Devours Dene Wale Devdas Ban Jate Hai
Hum Se Dosti Karane Wale
SMS Expert Ho Jate Hai…
`
Bhehar Ki Gali Main Paan Ki Dukan
Devdas Ne Dekhi Paro Ki Muskan
Devdas Ne Khilaya Paro Ko Paan
Khake Paan Paro Boli
Shukriya Bhai Jan..
`
Aaj Didar
Kal Yaar
Parso Pyar
Phir Ekrar
Phir Intezar
Phir Takrar
Phir Darar
Sari Mehnat Bekar
Or Aakhir Me 1 Or Devdas At Beer Baar..
`
Logo Ne Pyar Kiya To Kya Kiya
Pyar Ki Bewafai Mein Khud Ko Mita Diya
Isi Pyar Mein Log Bane Devdas
Par Koi Na Ban Saka Mere Jaisa Bindas!

Haar se pehle me umeed kyo chhodu
Haar se pehle me umeed kyo chhodu
Daya says salary sabko milti he
Darwaza main hi kyo todu??
`
Devdas & CID special
Babuji ne kaha paro ko chhod do
Wah wah
Babuji ne kaha paro ko chhod do
ACP ne kaha, Daya ye darwaza tod do
`
CID returns
Raat k pehlu me Chand sitare chaye he
Raat k pehlu me chand sitare chaye he
Madam darwaja kholiye hum CID se aye hai
`
Latest CID PJ for CID fans
A for apple
B for banana
Wah!wah!
A for apple
B for banana
Kuch B ho jaye daya goli mat chalana
`
Fredricks k sar pe 50000 ka loan he
Fredricks k sar pe 50000 ka loan he
Abhijeet pata kro yeh cid wali shyri bnata kaun he
`
Apake msg aane se milti he rahat.
Wah wah
Apake msg aane se milti he rahat.
Wah wah
CID ke baad dekhna na bhule aahat!

Munnabhai : Ye Circuit !! Sala apun ke desh ko
kaun chala rahela hai ?
Circuit : Bhai….bole to apun ka desh to
SMS chala rahela hai….
Munnabhai : Abe kya bak raha hai?
Circuit : Bhai …sahi bola apun NE…SMS bole to …
Sardar Manmohan Singh !!

Tumse doori ka ehsaas jab satane laga,
Tere saath guzra har lamha yaad aane laga,
Jabbhi tumhe bhulne ki koshish ki,
Ae dost tu dil ke aur paas ! aane laga..
`
Ham tere dil mein rahenge ek yaad bankar,
Tere lab pa khilenge muskaan bankar,
Kabhi hamein apne se juda na samajhna,
Hum tere saath challenge aasmaan bankar..
`
Haqiqat samjho ya afsana,
Begana kaho ya deewana,
Suno is dil ka fasana,
Teri dosti hai mere jeene ka bahana..
`
Kuch nasha to aapki baat ka hai
Kuch nasha to dheemi barsaat ka hai
Hame aap yuhi sharabi na kahiye,
Yeh dil par asar to aapse mulaqat ka hai.
`
Chand adhura hai sitaro ke bina,
gulshan adhura hai bahaaro ke bina,
samundar adhura hau kinaro ke bina,
jeena adhura hai tum jaise yaaro ke bina!!!
`
Kalam uthayi hai lafs nahi milta,
jisko dhoond rahein hain vo shaks nahi milta,
firte hain vo jamaane ki talaash mein,
bas humare liye unhe waqt nahi milta!!!
`
Dil mein umeedo ki shamma jala rakhi hai,
humne apni alag duniya basa rakhi hai,
is umeed ke saath ki a! ayega SMS aapka,
humne mobile par nazrein jama rakhi hain…
`
Main uski yaad mein ban gaya baraf ka gola
Main uski yaad mein ban gaya baraf ka gola
aur vo boli ki Thanda matlab Coca Cola
`
Yadd Karte hai tumhe tanhai mein,
dil dooba hai gamo ki gehrai mein,
hamein mat dhoonndho duniya ki bhid mein,
hum milenge tumhe phir kisi, free SMS ki scheme mein

is kadar hamari chahat ka imtihan na lijiye.
Kyu ho humse khafa, bayan to kijiye,
Kar dijiye maaf agar ho gaye humse khata,
Yu yaad na karke saza na dijiye.
`
Rishton ki ye duniye hai niraali,
Sab riston se pyaari hai dosti tumhaar! i.
Manzoor hai aansu bhi aakho mein hamaree,
Agar aa jaaye muskaan hot pe tumahari.
`
Khuda se thoda raham khareed lete,
Aap ke zakhmo ka marham khareed lete.
Agar kahi bikti khushiya meri,
To saari bech kar aap ka har ghum khareed lete.
`
Jam pe jam pine se kya fayda,
Sham ko pi subah utar jayegi.
Arey do boond dosti ke pi le,
Zindagi saari nashe mein guzar jayegi.
`
Fiza mein mehekti ek shaam ho tum,
Pyar mein chalakta jam ho tum.
Seene main chupaye phirte hai hum yaad tumahari,
Meri zindagi ka dusra naam ho tum.
`
Vaade pe o aitbaar nahi karte,
Hum zikre mohabbat sare bazaar nahi karte.
Darta hai dil unki ruswai se,
Aur who sochte hai hum unse pyar nahi karte.
`
Har kadam par imtihaan leti hai zindagi,
Har waqt naya sadma deti hai zindagi.
Hum jindagi se kya shikwa kare,
Aap jaise dost bhi to deti hai zindagi.
`
Kaash who nagme hame sunaye na hote,
Aaj unko sun kar aansu aye na hote.
Agar isi tarah bhool hi jaana tha,
To itni gehrai se dil me samaye na hote.
`
Har khushi kam hai,
Tera gum bhulane ke liye,
Ek tera gum hi kaafi hai,
Mujhe umr bhar rulane ke liye
`
Dil Ki Basti Bikhar Gayi Hoti
Ke Rooh Ke Zakhm Bhar Gaye Hote
Yeh Zindagi To Aap Ki Amaanat Hai Warna
Hum To Kab Ke Mar Gaye Hote..

Shadi karna tha par kismat khuli nahi,
TAJMAHAL Bana tha par MUMTAZ mili nahi,
Ab kismat khuli, Shadi hue,
ab TAZ banana chahta hu,
par ye MUMTAZ marti nahi!
`
Bhul se kabhi hame bhi yaad kiya karo,
Pyar nahi to Shikayat hi kiya karo,
Itna bhi gair na samjho ki baat hi na kiya karo,
Phone nahi to SMS hi kiya karo….
`
Aap jaise log kuch khaas lagte hain.
man main har waqt hum ek aas rakhte hai.
najane kab aa jaye aap ka sms
is liye cell ko dil ke paas rakhte hai.
`
Jindagi behaal hai,
Sur hai naa taal hai,
Msgbox bhi kangal hai,
kya aapki sms factory me hadtal hai,
yaar kuch to bhejo ye meri mobile ki zindagi ka sawaal hai.
`
Is dil mein yaadon ke mele hain,
tum bin bahut akele hain,
sab kuch chodke tume SMS kar rele hain,
dekho hum kitne wele
`
Nazar tumhari, Nazar hamari,
Nazar ne dil ki nazar utari,
Nazar ne dekha nazar ko aise,
ki nazar dosti ko lage na hamari.
`
Tussi hasde ho saanu hassan vaste,
Tussi ronde ho saanu rovvan vaset,
Tussi 1 vaar ruske te vekho,
Mar jayenge tuhanu manaan vaste.
`
Baadal kitne khushnaseeb hai,
Door rahkar bhi zameen par baraste hai,
Hum kitne badnaseeb hai,
Paas rahkar bhi milne ko taraste hai.
`
Dosti ka pehala pegam aapke naam,
Zindagi ki akhari sham aapke naam.
Iss safar main humsafar hain hum dono,
Is dosti ko nibhana hain aapka kaam